We are lucky in this country, we have a civil partnership, where by same sex couples can get hitched with pretty much the same laws and protections in law as those whose love is a member of the opposite sex. There are some in the gay community that think this isn't right, that damn and condemn anyone or anything that think it is! But I for one am pleased, grateful and happy that such a law, such a provision for my love exists, having been in a country where such laws and unions are not the national norm, where in some cases there are no protections for discrimination and persecution in law, it makes you realise just how lucky we are in this country and how far we've come since 1967 when homosexuality was decriminalised. Yes there are still roads we have yet to travel, there are slight inequalities, but these are few and far between and we are a long long way from the start and far far closer the end.
Even immigration rules reflect our changing society and place within it, allowing same sex couples to bring over their non British partner, with the intention of getting civil'ed, which is a far cry from what it used to be like. Obviously having an American boyfie, it's these things I'm looking into in greater detail than I have and would previously. I now know for example, my proposed civil partner may come with you to the United Kingdom, or join you here, if both you and he are aged 21 or over, (which he will be in a few months) that we plan to register a civil partnership within a reasonable time (usually six months) and then live together like an old married couple; in other words, exactly the same rules and requirements as heterosexual unmarried folk. The UK is only one of 19 countries that allow gays and lesbians to sponsor their foreign partners.
Going over there, for me to settle and enjoy top the full our relationship is a little more difficult, at the moment there is no national gay marriage or civil partnership law or programme that would allow me to come in, stay in and live and work in Yankeeland. We could go to Canada to get married, it might be equal in the eyes of Canadian law, as a heterosexual marriage, but it carries no weight in law or recognition in America, or countless other countries in the world for that matter. Nor would getting civil'ed in any of the five states that have civil unions or partnerships, as these have no recognition in immigration requirement's.
The Defense of Marriage Act of 1996 prohibits federal recognition of same-sex couples in the United States, which means gay and lesbian foreign partners of legal U.S. citizens are not recognized for immigration purposes. Plain and simple, we can't come in, however, Republican. Jerrold Nadler and Senator Patrick Leahy have co-sponsored the Uniting American Families Act of 2009 in both the House of Representative's and Senate. The bill, introduced on February 12, 2009, would allow gay nationals to bring their partners into the United States under the same criteria as heterosexual nationals, so there is a little hope, a little glow of darkness at the end of this long tunnel. It's been tried before, four times, and so far nothing has been done, but perhaps with the different administration in control things may go a little further. After all, Barack Obama did declare June was national gay month, so he is perhaps more enlightened and more open to change than his jobs previous incumbents, only the future can tell.
All this is assuming of course that Matt actually does want to get hitched in some way or form to me, which is a pretty big assumption on y part. Yes we've talked about it, just as we've talked about getting matching rings, corresponding and complimenting tattoo's and living with a menagerie of animals and growing old together, obviously that's sooner rather than later for me, as I'm pretty much there already. However, that was in the early days of the relationship, when such things are said in those six, seven, eight, nine hour conversations, when dreams, desires and futures are planned with the colour or rose covering everything from such tinted spectacles. Yet, I know such things can be said in the honeymoon period of a relationship, it's just the way it is, I also know that never before have I meant them, or have they carried so much weight as they did and do with regard to Matt. Our future is, forever connected.
Other than that, the only other way for me to plonk myself down for a long period of time is to say, apply for an H-1B employment visa, but in this economic climate that about as easy as getting a chocolate teapot not to melt at the gates of hell! Difficult, but not impossible, just requires a special kind of chocolate, or in this case, a special set of circumstances, but one thing is for sure, I already have a blooming headache and I'm sure there are many more to come.
Perhaps you can help with the fight for immigration equality, here's how.
On a completely different note, I forgot to say the other day, my mate Mo was up in London town the other day, something about boobs, anyway, there she was havin
g a spot of lunch in a back street boozer with her daughter and foster daughter when in came The Hoff. They asked if they could have their picture taken, which he agreed and after his lunch was true to his word and came over and happily posed for some photos. As the pic shows, he still manages to retain a sense of humour!
g a spot of lunch in a back street boozer with her daughter and foster daughter when in came The Hoff. They asked if they could have their picture taken, which he agreed and after his lunch was true to his word and came over and happily posed for some photos. As the pic shows, he still manages to retain a sense of humour!I'm not dead yet!
More soon.
5 People had their say.:
Thanks for your words regarding the Uniting American Families Act.
There are a number of American who are currently residing in Europe - in exile, as our country does not recognize our right to Equality....despite the fact, that the USA does recognize our responsability to pay taxes !
We are hopeful that one day our country will see the light, and like many countries in Europe, will recognize Equality for all its citizens.
In the meantime, I am grateful to Switzerland and its citizens, who have embraced my family and I.
It surprises me that America isn't further along this road to equlity then us, as growing up I always looked to the US as being the more progressive but I think I was missing out on the Bible belt and the ignornace that surrounds that.
We do have things to be thankful for in the UK, although we still have a long way to go.
Good blog.
t x
Posted by tony on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 - 3:41 PM
It's ridiculous that America doesn't just sort itself out - it all seems so old-fashioned. Once there's true equality (if that ever really exists ...) and same-sex couples can get married in church too, then I'll be much happier.
Axxx
Posted by Anne on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 - 5:39 PM
I have extreme problems with this whole "marriage" thing. I don't want to have to go through some kind of ceremony to be recognised as the lifelong partner of Madame Arcati, and I don't think anyone (gay or straight) should need to - there should be some next-of-kin and tax forms to fill in, and that's that. However, I accept that for some people "conventionality" is their ambition.
In my opinion the whole idea is that people (in the old fashioned terminology, and again, gay or straight) "living in sin" are somehow excluded from equal rights unless they submit to some archaeic pseudo-religious ritual. I hate the fact that we suddenly are expected to "ape" heterosexual norms - read some of Peter Tatchell's thoughts on the matter... Jx
Posted by Jon on Wednesday, July 15, 2009 - 1:36 AM
I must admit that I've not really previously thought about marriage or getting civil'ed myself, until recently.
Yes I have friends whove done it and say it's the best thing they've ever done. I'm glad we have the option to have a little bit of equality, i that our love for another person can and is legally recognized, that they can get some protection under law if something should happen to the other party.
It is all about choice, some people want to get married, some don't, I respect their choice, but it's great to have the choice in the first place.
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