Long Distance Relationship - fact or fiction?

Miles and miles apart, yet two lovers meet, it’s a love long distance, but can a relationship than spans the oceans survive? Or is a Trans Atlantic love affair doomed from the very start? Is there such a thing as a successful long distance relationship?

I met my boyfriend online, and before you ask, it wasnt a dating site; nope it was from the blog I do Seafront Diaries, on MySpace. We chatted with the aid of instant messengers platforms, we simply got along great, and we felt a strong connection even though there was an ocean between us. Oh did I forget to mention, I’m in England and he’s from Illinois in the good old US of A!

Distance seemed to matter little as we talked and talked over the net, hours and hours they would last, indeed our record duration for conversing like was an hour shy of 24! Now I know this may sound a little sad, but on more than one occasion we even watched each other sleep on webcam. The attraction we held for each other was exhilarating, exciting and the most powerful I’ve ever experienced, and god knows I’ve had a lot of experience!

We had to see each other, yes there was the age difference, he was 20 and I was at the latter end of my 30’s, yes there was the distance nearly 4300 miles, yes we met over the internet, yes there were dozens of reasons for us not to go ahead with meeting up, but hey life is for living, isn’t it?

I jetted over, for a two week vacation, which was absolutely wonderful and I wished it could last forever, the bond we found online only multiplied when we met in the flesh. Cupid sure pulled back his bow and let those arrows flow, love was all around and we had a blast. I didn’t want the vacation to end, nor did he, but end it had to and flew home I did, with a heavy heart.

Matt must have felt the same explosion of emotion as within two weeks of my return to the UK he’d booked a flight and was on his way over to England and to cut a long story short, he ended up staying with me for 6 months. I’ve since been back to the States and stayed for three months in ‘our’ apartment in Illinois. I’ve never known three months fly by so fast as those three did and to old England I returned a couple of months ago.

We now face the prospect of a long distance relationship, an LDR, an ocean divides us, but do such long distance relationships work, can there be such a thing as a bi-national partnership. Can love conquer all or will distance divide? Does distance matter?

Some say distance matters and love can never last, Andrew a thirty-something gay guy from Brighton England says “There is no way such a long distance relationship could work, the distance is just too great, seeing each other would be so difficult, not to mention expensive. Sooner or later one or the other or both are gonna get board and fuck someone else”

Other’s are less vehement in their negativity, “Long distance relationship may last for older people, but younger ones, no, when your old you know what you want, but when you’re young you don’t know what you want” said Carman an Italian girl 30, who had a lover in a different country between the ages of 14 and 24!

“Of course a love affair that is honest and true can survive great distances in a short term, as long as in the future they will be together. It’s like something to look forward to!” Comments hopeless romantic Maureen 59 from Kettering.

As the internet grows, the world gets smaller there are more and more LDR’s, partly due to internet dating, social networking - MySpace, Facebook, Gaydar and partly due to a global market place where companies become international employers and they move around their employees. Dean, 36 works for and English company with interests in the far east, three years ago they sent him to work in their Hong Kong office. “Steve and I had only just started dating when I got the Hong Kong position, so it was really easy for me to up sticks and leave. It got harder and harder the more we fell in love with each other. By the end of the first year, it was touch and go if we'd make it, we'd see each other for a week every two months or so, but the price of flights is astronomical, so we had to cut that down." He says they have kept the magic alive by being romantic, even though they are half the world away from each other. "I surprise him by sending little silly gifts, like a plastic banana, or a pair of jeans for a doll saying 'if you carry on with the diet you'll fit into these by Christmas!" We are also able to talk a fair bit, thanks mainly to Skype" They also make time to do things together, well sort of, for example they will both get a DVD of a film and sit and watch it together, at the same time and talk on the phone as they watch. "It's the little things like that which keep us sane and together, things that may seem silly and foolish to others are normal and rational to us"

There are also benefits to being far apart, as Dean explains "As he's in England and I'm in Hong Kong, we have plenty of time to do our own thing, he has his hobbies and I mine, we each have our independence, oh and it's so much easy keeping birthday presents hidden and surprises not spoilt by each other snooping in the closet trying to find the present stash or whatever"

It makes me smile when Dean talks like that, but I know the biggest thing I miss is the physical affection of actually being with someone day in and day out. "We've learnt to cope with that" Andrew says, "We both trust each other on the fidelity front, we have cam sex and god, when we do get to be with each other - lets just say the ground really does move, we make up for lost time!"

So, LDR's, Dean & Steve seem to be making it work, it's not been easy, they've had their ups and downs, just like any couple, but together, while apart, they can get through it. I wish them the best of luck.

As for Matt and I, well only the future will tell, can we make it through the distance? Can our love keep us strong? Keep us together? You'll have to keep coming back to find out.

What do you think? Comments are, as always most welcome.

Jason Shaw, the Brighton blogger from The Seafront Diaries, writes exclusively for Best Gay Blogs.