Oi, Proposal......

Life is,  if you ask me a pretty strange thing really,   it's got more ups and downs that a whores drawers,  when things start going right,  something comes along to burst your bubble, and then when it's all murky and dull  something comes along that makes you smile and rejoice.   Why cant life be just smooth sailing and a nice even surface for a while?  Although, you're probably right,  I'd get bored of that completely!

Hot news now,   are you sitting down?  Are you comfortable?   Grab hold of something, pour yourself a stiff drink.   This, my dear devoted reader,  may very well come as a shock,   no  really,  I mean it,  You sure you're ready?  OK,  then I’ll begin,   I’ve been proposed to! 

OK, and  yes,   before you ask, I do mean  really 'proposed' to, not in the way 'would you like a cup of tea?'  Or 'fancy coming to the pub for a quick pint?'  Or  'Care to look at my rice crispy arse flakes?' kind of proposal,  but a real one -  one of commitment,  solemnity, eternity, monogamy  and marriage!

I told you it would be a shock,   it blew my sanity clean out of the water for ohhhh several of your earth micro-seconds, thats for sure.     It’s quite a novelty for me,  being proposed to,  it’s never happened before,   well  actually  that's a darn right, bluearsed lie,  it has,   in fact it's happened twice before,  but they’ve both been rather different. 

The first was from Ed,  the ex,  who rather unkindly I used to refer to as ever expanding Ed,  when his weight increased dramatically.  Anyway  that was years ago,  he's slim now apparently,  but he was the first to pop the question.  He proposed one Christmas, although that was before there was such a thing as gay marriage or civil partnership if you want to be pedantic in this country,  and rather a lot of Christmas champagne had passed his pretty tea-total  lips!     

Oh and yes,  then there was Crezelda, she was a one,  really,  she was a fab girl.  She was a South African lesbian  that I called the Warrior Princess mainly for her long legs,   deep accent and Zelda part of her name.  Anyway,  she asked me to marry her, this was back in the mid to late 90‘s, but I’m pretty sure it was only because she wanted to stay in the country and not because she had a secret  undying and intensely passionate  love for me!

However,   this time it’s different,  this time it’s a whole other ball game,   a whole new experience and has nothing to do with Christmas spirit or wishing to become a British Citizen!  You know Shaun,  the young guy I mentioned the other post, the one from that dating site I joined a while back?  Yes, him, well,   we’ve been spending a fair amount of time chatting on cam on messenger thingy.  And yes,  before you get all 'up yourself' superiour and looking down your nose at me,  I confess,  yes we have  behaved like horny 15 year olds for a short while,  about 2 % of the time,  the remaining  98%  has been talking!   Yes,  honestly,   you get the right message!    

He likes me,  he does,   he’s fun,  he’s  so not your typical 19 year old gay boy,  for example,  he’s mad keen on cars,  and when I say mad keen,  I mean that beyond your wildest estimations of the word!   He's into mechanics  and the like,  he loves his rally cross, he's got a rally car,   he’s exhibiting at some petrol head car show next month.  So far removed from your stereotypical gay boy you could possible get.  Oh and for fun he does this thing called parkour,  which is otherwise known as  l'art du déplacement,  or the art of movement  or  freerunning which if I’m right knd of involves running at walls, jumping over things,  finding ways to go up round and over obsticles, walls and that kinda thing.  Anyway  all very energetic and physical and not my cup of hot chocolate really -  got fed up of saying tea!    But,  I'm waffling away here,  basically well,   he’s proposed!   Yes you fool,  to me!

Now,  OK OK,  before you start raining on my parade, or pissing on my fire, I am awear that it’s technically not a proper marriage proposal as it was done over the magic of internet and no,  there wasn’t a ring for him to slip on my finger, but hey,  he got down on one knee and looked up (albeit to the webcam)  and asked me to marry him!      It’s not often that happens,  well as I've explained before it's kinda happened twice before, but you know,  it doesn't happen all the time,  not to me,  well  until now that is.  So,  whilst I know it’s rather strange,  silly even,  that some 19 year old whose never met me in the flesh could propose marriage to me on webcam,  I am rather, as the Aussies would say stoked!    

Of course,  I haven’t given him an answer yet,  I’m making him wait,   keeping him dangling,   you know waiting for the ring to be produced,   however knowing my luck the ring will either be an iced party ring biscuit or probably more apt a shiny cockring!

Oh well,  a boy can dream can’t he.     I guess marriage an me is always going to be a case of ‘always the bridesmaid and never the bride’

More soon.  Make sure you come back and tell ya friends to do the same,  I need all the readers I can get.   My life may very well be an open book,  but I still need you to turn the pages!

© 2010 Copyright Jason Shaw