Friday, 27 January 2012

Scottish Independence



Independence for Scotland

There is lots of talk in the media regarding Scottish Independence, it’s true, you cant even turn around to tie up your shoe without someone sticking a Scottish Independence comment up your arse. Referendum this and referendum that, one question, two questions, 16 and 17 year olds to vote, when to hold it, how many sugars the preceding officer has in his tea, who is going to count the vote and all that,  it is a enough to drive you to drink, unless of course you’re Scottish because its quite likely if you are, you’ve already had a drink!
That awfully bouncy Alex Salmond of the Scottish National Party (clues in the name) wants an independent Scotland.  The Jolly Toffs Party, by which I obviously do me the ruling Conservative party don’t want an independent Scotland and a break-up of the core part of the UK. Labour are not completely sure, but what do you expect under simpering Ed Milibland’s leadership. As for the LibDem’s, well who give two hoots what they want, nobody listens to them anymore (including the coalition partners they are supposed to be in government with!)


I wish to level with you now,  out in the open, and yes I’ve thought about this, maybe not for long – there was wet paint to watch after all, but yes I’ve given it a bit of thought and as an English person, I’m for it.  I want Independence for Scotland, bring it on I say and bring it on now.  Stop all this   shilly-shallying about when to hold the sodding referendum, hold it now, this year before the summer, May,  hold it in May,  that’s always a good time for an election.  Let’s get it done and done pretty damn sharpish.


I want Scottish Independence,  now I know my cry, my non-aggressive, non-combatant battle cry to give those northern souls them independence and freedom  may sound a little odd, not least of all to my Scottish friends, of which there are a few, so few in fact their number can be counted on two fingers (I mean proper Scots, not those who once had an aunt who had a fling with a caber tossing, haggis munching, kilt wearing lad from Kilmarnock, called Jock)  National stereotyping much!

My friends will be saying,  ‘ech,  naahh Jasenn, you canny believe thot’ but it is true, I’m all for an independent Scotland, if they want it for themselves, of which the only way to find out is to knock on the door and ask every single one of them, noooo,   I mean vote in a referendum. 

If they vote in favour, I for one will be jumping for joy,  I’ll be glad to be rid of the buggers, glad to see the back of them.to be honest.

However, there are some conditions which must be adhered to for an independent Scotland.

1)      Buy back the national Royal Bank of Scotland from the British Govt.

2)      Border wall to be built by the Polish along the national divide with two border crossings, one in the east and one on the west.  

3)      Border to be manned and passports required, strictly enforced.

4)      BBC will be pulled out of any Scottish area, all facilities sold off at commercial market rates.

5)      BBC transmitters will be switched off and dismantled.

6)      All UK military bases, immediately withdrawn and closed down, relocating to mainland England and Wales

7)      Immediate repayment of all current British Govt funding.

8)      Immediate repayment of all current and former (up to and including the previous ten years –((I really wanted this to something like 50 years, but that’s just pushing it, 10 seems more fair))) of all grants, loans, subsidies, funding, assistance, aid the British Govt has made.

9)      The immediate payback of all the funding the NHS has paid for the SHS in the last ten years.

10)   Immediate withdrawal of all haggis from English shops.

11)   Scottish currency will cease to be legal tender in the rest of the UK.

12)   The UK air traffic control centre will cease to control any aircraft movements over Scotland.

13)   British embassies, consulates and other offices overseas will cease to represent, assist or repatriate any Scottish national in difficult abroad.
14)   The DVLA will cease to handle any Scottish registered cars.

15)   Trade agreements that currently stop English companies from competing head on with Scottish companies overseas, will be scrapped.

16)   No Scottish athlete will be able to join the British team.

17)   Nobody wearing a kilt will be allowed to cross the border, unless they can prove a right to wear such a tartan and have something under it (Yes I mean undies)

18)   Edinburgh Rock shall have the ‘rock’ part of its name taken away because we all know rock is hard and crunchy and not soft, powdery and crumbly.

19)   Scotland can have about 8 per cent of the UK reserves.

20)   Scotland will have to pay about 8 per cent of the UK national debt.

21)   North Sea oil and gas, split at the national border divide. (Scotland to pay back a proportion of the British exploration costs)

22)   I’m sure I’ve forgotten something.

23)   When I first thought of this post it seemed rather fun, now it seems to have taken a less tongue in cheek feel and more a wiggly fingers with thumb of same hand right on the nose and a nar nar nee nar nar sound coming out.

I’m sure there is more, there has to be, but I guess that’ll do for starters, so come on you Scots,  take your independence, you do deserve it,  you should have it. Oh I say,  Jason on a political rant….well I never did.





Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Pimp My Cube.......

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Contest Factory. All opinions are 100% mine.

ADVERTORIAL

 

 

Oh hold on to your hats folks, take a look at this fab compo,  for it's time to Pimp My Cube......

 

Pimp My Cube is looking high and low for the most messy, cluttered, untidy, shockingly awful and utterly awful cubicle or office.  It may had bad furniture, chairs with missing backs,  desks with drawers hanging off, it may look like a dogs breakfast, they don't care.  It may have a computer that looks more like a washing machine of a copier that takes four hours to warm up and can only cope with six sheets an hour.  

If this sounds like your office, work space or cubical,  then simply load up a video of it and explain why its so odd, horrible and difficult to work in.  Point out the real bad and awful stuff,  like that stain on the carpet that's been there since the world was in black and white or how there is three books under the leg of that desk, just to hold it upright and nearly level.

Make sure your video shows why Contest Factory should come in and really PIMP UP your cubicle or office.

It's so simple to do,  you've got a webcam,  you've got a computer, you've got the net,  so start doing it now,  simply film it and then upload it and you could be on the way to having a brand spanking new sexy office, were you'll be able to work harder than ever before, double your productivity and increase profits (thats the bit the boss likes to hear!)  

No webcam - no problem, I'll bet you or one of your workmates have a mobile phone that shoots video!

Once the video is uploaded,  get your friends, work mates, family and anyone else you can to have a look and vote for your space.

 

Pimp My Cube Contest

Simple and easy,  just think if you're the winner, your cubicle could be pimped to the max.  The prize is worth approx  $1200 -    even second prize is a $200 gift card

 

So vist the site and get uploading now,    Pimp My Cubical....

 

 

Pimp My Cube Contest

Visit Sponsor's Site

Ohh I got tagged!






undefined


Oh well wouldn't you know it,  there I was, minding my own business, gazing out the window and wondering what the locals would say if it started snowing in the desert.   You know I once had a fling with a guy in Tunisia who had never seen snow and really wanted me to send some back to him when I returned to England.  Anyway, there I was,  wondering about such things, as you do,  well you do if you're me and you've got a head full of holes,  a bit like Swiss cheese really, just not the same colour,  when up pops Becca over at Everyday Life and blooming well tags me.    Don't worry I didn't feel a thing,  probably because I'm like millions of pounds over weight, but there we are,  I was tagged.


Post these rules. 



1. You must post 11 random things about yourself. 


2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. 


3. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer. 


4. Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them. 


5. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." Legitimately tag 11 people!! 




So here goes,  with section one!

1. I love Aunty Anne's soft pretzels - so much that I travelled from Brighton to Croydon one day just to have one.
2. As a kid I used to go and watch the aircraft at Gatwick Airport.
3. My hip scar gets all itchy when I'm nervious.
4. I was once given a hand job under a blanket on an aircraft.
5. I like to keep the paper bags my shopping comes in (mostly clothes shops!)
7. I've never been much good at counting.
8. I like sprinkling brown sugar on my breakfast (yes even if I'm just having toast)
9. I want to ride my bike all the way along the M1 motorway.
10. I like to read in the toilet. (even if I don't need to go!)

So now here we are with the questions Becca set.

  1. If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you do? -  (Go get a couple of bottles of decent wine, some break and then sit on a nice beach, watch the waves roll to shore and phone up my friends and say goodbye)
  2. What Is one song that discribes your life? (Male Stripper?  hmmm maybe not,  maybe Beatles paperback writer?)
  3. Are you good at making new friends? (No,  I'm so very shy)
  4. Where did you grow up?  (In Surrey)
  5. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone?  (I'm not a real good prank player, most people seem to see through any pranks I try and play......I guess I'm just not a prankster!)
  6. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be and how long would it take you to spend the $10,000?   (In America I'd take it to Best Buy and it would last about half an hour.  In England I'd take it to Save The Children charity shop and just buy their space for a year - so I guess it would take a year to spend!) ((There see,  I bet you thought I'd take it to the chocolate shop and spend it all on chocolate, didn't you?  Go on,  be honest.....))
  7. Do you exercise regularly? (not really -  unless getting out of bed is exercise!)
  8. Who would you want to play you in the movie about your life? (Jesse Spencer)
  9. Who is your celebrity crush male/female? (Jesse Spencer)
  10. Do you exercise? (I got to the computer didn't I?)
  11. What is the weirdest thing you will ever admit to having done in the past? (Oh gosh, my blog is filled with funny and odd things I've done in the past.   Errm,  I guess dropping my trousers on stage in a night club to show off my boxers, forgetting the fact that on that night I wasn't wearing any boxers!)

Now then,  I've got to ask eleven questions,  gosh this really is a hard task........

1. What is or was your favourite  cartoon character?
2. Coffee or tea?
3. The best thing you've ever done in your life?
4. The worst thing you'll ever admit to doing in your life?
5. How many people will actually answer the question above honestly?
6. Is there a god?
7. Do you like Brussels Sprouts?
8. Would you lend me £150?
9. Would you lend a politician £150?
10. Peanut butter or jam(jelly for my American friends)
11. What has been the most memorable place you've ever visited?


Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Its those bloody birds again........



I saw a plump little Robin on the fence this morning and I thought he looked so pretty and so happy,  although he was a little fritty and flighty, but happy nonetheless.  I know this isn’t exactly so, but to me there is something quintessentially English about seeing a little Robin redbreast darting around the garden on a winters day.  Oh and yes,  before you jump up and down and wave your bird spotting books in my direction, I know Robins are not exclusive to these shores, hills, dales and forests. That they do live elsewhere and fly over a lot of other places on this ball of craggy and soggy bits we call earth, but still, they feel like they belong to England, or symbolise it in some small simple way.  It’s a little birdhouse in my soul that is England!  Shoot me down if you want, but regardless, that’s the way it is for me, however it got me thinking about all the songs I could think of about birds,  which is, I’m sure you’ve gathered by now, how my mind works,  bizarrely.


So here you go,  music be they songs or albums  that have a song theme, connection or connotation.








Alison Moyet                     ByeBye Blackbird. 
(yes I know, loads and loads of others have done versions of this song too!)


Beautiful South                   Blackbird on the wire.
                                               

Owl City                             The bird and the worm.

Bette M                               Wind beneath my wings (stretching it a bit, but hey…)

Snowy White                      Bird of paradise.

Lynard Skinard                   Freebird.

Jacksons                              Rockin Robin.

Choir Boys (various)           O for the wings of a dove.

Prince                                   When doves cry.


Anything by the Byrds, the Eagles, the Counting Crows, Sparrowhawk and Flock of Seagulls.
I’m sure there is loads more, but these are just the ones I can think of on the top of my head,  How bout you?

Monday, 23 January 2012

Free Cookies



Click & Go
Ends5 Feb
2012
Eat Out

4 free cookies when you buy 4 at Millie's

Just thinking about the cookies is enough to make us hungry. Print this offer from Millie's today!
Free Cookies

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Popular Posts