Hello,
Thanks for stopping by, now, I'm guessing that because you're on a page entitled 'about me', you'll want to know more about me.
I'm Jason, I enjoy red wine, aviation, cheesecake, watching the sea, travelling and oh so much more.
I was born in the summer of 1969 in a sleep Surrey village where I lived for almost all my childhood and adolescence
Over the years I've done so many jobs in a wide vareity of industries that has seen me dress up as a koala and a tiger, dance on stage, sell holidays, look after rich people, put words in order in print for cash, clean windows, flog over-priced coffee, book flights, answer problems, investigate, broadcast and a wee bit more besides.
Now, that's pretty much the basics over and done with, so let's take a little breather before we delve off into the dim and dark corners of my mind to recall some of my past! You sure your not bored yet? I was born and bread in Surrey, yes, honestly, born - not hatched or created in some lab or other. I kinda like Surrey, it's sort of green, rather pleasant and apparently it's got a fringe on top, though I've never seen that!
It may come as a surprise, but I rather liked school, even though I was bullied a little. Well, a swotty, ugly kid with glasses and a briefcase is just asking for trouble! But hey, as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! My father had been in an officer in the Royal Navy and at times thought he still was, failure to comply with orders in the required time would result in punishment, usually of the physical kind. I had a problem with reading and writing, I loved doing it, I just wasn't very good at it, those darn letters kept on jumping about and swapping places. These days they'd understand it was dyslexia and there'd be all kinds of help to overcome such difficulties, back then, things were not quite so cool!
I guess it was kinda tough at first, most teachers thought I was a nice kid, but a little on the thick side. I suppose I believed them, I wasn't clever, I wasn't smart, and hey they were the teachers, they'd been to university and everything and I was just a little kid from Surrey. So, I travelled along being thought of as a bit thick, a dunce, a Joey as we used to call not so bright people back then. I was also called four-eyes, goggle head, speccy, amongst many others. I'd tel you know I didn't mind it, but at the time it was probably a different story and I guess I was pretty much a bit of a lonely boy - being bullied kind of does that to you, and as the teachers thought I was not the sharpest tool i the box, nothing much was expected of me, I was, pretty much left on my own.
Teachers can make all the difference, I really believe that, you get a good educator with a passion for their subject and it's infectious. Kids pick up on it and and once an interest is piqued, learning becomes less of a chore and more of a delight. Yes, learning can be fun! I had two teachers like that, one for geography and the other my English master, who recognized that I wasn't just a thick and lazy child, but someone who had a real interest in neing a bit creative, in reading and writing, despite or even because of the difficulties it presented.
I knew I was different from the age of about 12 or 13. It was most odd, but I had a kinda crush on Louis, my best friends boyfriend, he was a dream boy, at the time I didn't really know why I wanted to be close to him. At the time I thought he was exotic, although he was a 17 year old French kid on an exchange visit one summer.
Long after he'd gone back to France, I thought of him, of having his arms around me, giving me a hug. Oh goodness me, I can close my eyes now, all these years later and still see him, standing in the old sports ground in Redhill, wearing a green and white striped jumper, dark jeans, floppy hair and a smile that could make even the hardest heart sing.
I was different, sure I was, I was not as other boys, that I was different, although at the time I didn't fully know that difference was that I was a big old nelly!
I had tingly feelings inside about boys, mostly older ones, I liked the way they looked, I liked the way they behaved, I liked the way they dressed and I wanted to be close to them! Sure, they weren't Louis from France, but, they were a lot more available. Now, I didn't think I was gay, but before you ask 'how could you not know?' Don't forget, back then we didn't have the internet, there was no social media and no support networks. I mean, for crying out loud, we only had three TV channels back then and those went off at night! It was a different time, a time where perhaps childhood lasted a little longer than now, but for me, it wasn't as pleasurable as it perhaps should have been!
I read a book in the library, telling me it could be a phase, that lots of boys go through it, but, I didn't grow out of it and slowy I began to understand that I was actually 'one of those' you know, one of those limp wristed, lavender lover, a 'poof' a 'bender' a 'queer bent bastard' as the newspapers of the day called gay guys!
I had no clue about being gay, other that what was on TV, which was John Innman in Are You Being Served, Colin and Barry on Eastenders and Jesse Birdsall on some London gangster mini series, so I didn't really have a lot of role models. I remember trying to talk to one of the teachers about my secret sexuality at school after class, but, well this was against the backdrop of Thatcher's Britain, section 28 was just around the corner and enlightened times, well they weren't. However, I knew, deep inside, that I couldn't keep hiding away forever. I was a sack of hormones, desires and I knew I couldn't wait for the travelling fair to come back again.
I was the life and soul of the party, well for a while at college, until I did what was for some, the unspeakable! I came out! The one single declaration saw the big group of people I'd called friends whittle down to just two. A shock and a blow for sure, but at least I was no longer living a lie, not to them, but also far more importantly not to myself.
After leaving college I took a job in Croydon, which was kind of fun and closer to London than my sleepy Surrey village that I called home. I want to experience life, yet knew very little of how to do that. My life was going through a bit of an unsettled phase, I knew I wasn't living the life I wanted, yet I didn't know how to move forward, things came to an ugly head when I went to a friends bedsit for the weekend in Woking. He wasn't in and I had to wait on the street corner for him to return. A lonely boy in a strange town, alone after dark with nowhere to go and little money. Someone, a young man came and chatted to me in the darkness, he seemed friendly and kind, he was chatty and invited me to go with him to somewhere warm and dry. Warm and dry turned out to be a derelict garage and friendly and kind rapidly changed into hard and aggressive. It wasn't what I wanted to happen, it wasn't what I had planned, it wasn't a nice experience, yet I didn't know how to deal with it, not during and not immediately after. I retreated into myself.
Jumping ahead a long while here, mainly because, I can't remember the details, although it took a long time for me to actually get some affection and even longer before I found love. I'll be honest, and tell you it was a lonely heart ad in the back of Sky Magazine, that bought a long tall handsome stranger into my life. When I say tall, I mean TALL, be was a tad over six foot six, I was five foot six, so an odd couple we made, but hey, none of that matters in the glow of first love!I came out to my parents, first my mother, who said she already knew, apparently mothers always know such things before their sons. A little later to my father, who said he understood, but would never again be alone in a room with me. We communicate, but we don't talk any-more, which to be honest, isn't a bother to me at all.
I would hate to say I was the only gay in the village, because that would be a cliché and untrue, I'm sure there were others, but I didn't know of them, where they were, or where they hang out. I was perhaps more alone after coming out than I ever was before. However, I knew that up the train tracks lay London and I knew that had loads to offer a young gay - a stolen copy of Gay Times told me that! Yes, really, I stole a copy of Gay Times (Yes, pretty much exactly like that scene in the film Beautiful Thing) and I found my way to Heaven, yes the club in London and not the place upstairs and beyond the clouds!
OK, so I was under age, but hey, I'd spiked up the hair, took off the glasses, had a natural six pack, was a skinny little thing, wide eyes and an innocent face. I had no trouble! I'd gone looking for love, for the man of my dreams and a happy ever after. What I found was so many older guys buying me drinks, getting me drunk and wanting to do various things to and with me, most of which I'd never even heard of. I guess, to coin a phrase, the chicken had landed and well, I may have been innocent, but even I realized that happy ever after only survives in fairytale's To me, back then, happy ever after became happy ever after until the end of the weekend!
Love didn't seem to knock at my door, so I lived for the weekends, where I would go out, get drunk and get pulled, I suppose each time, I hoped that each of those guys would be Mr Right, but all they ever were was Mr Right Now! I guess that's how life is sometimes.
Life kinda came to a crashing halt when I and the guy I was with at the time got set upon after leaving a club, he got away, I got a beating. I forget how many ribs were broken along with the nose during that gay bashing, but it really freaked me out for a while. I stopped going out, I retreated into myself, if being beaten up and left for dead because of my sexuality was part of this world, I didn't want to be in it any more is how I felt.
I came out to my parents, first my mother, who said she already knew, apparently mothers always know such things before their sons. A little later to my father, who said he understood, but would never again be alone in a room with me. We communicate, but we don't talk any more, which to be honest, isn't a bother to me at all.
I got on with life, fell in love with a guy called Simon, I thought it was forever, but hey, just like happy ever after, forever only ever happens in those fairy tales, still it was fun while it lasted. I got a job in the Airline business, which was fun, exciting and afforded cheap European travel - in fact a flight anywhere in Europe cost a £5! I loved work, love the travel and loved the challenges, loved the travel.
Had a nice life, shared a house with two other air hosties, Jilly and Jacquie from the same airline and an accountant called Eric. Some of those parties were pretty wild, especially the one that involved burnt cork! I loved local radio, and some how managed to bag a job at a local radio station, just at the weekends, but that love of radio, of communication burnt deep in to my soul.The airline went bust, the three of us in that house were all out of work, so I did what any other normal person does, I jumped up and down moved to the coast and became a redcoat, before moving on to be an entertainer at a holiday centre in Dorset. It not a job you do for the money, I worked on average a 96 hour week and took home £81, but hey, it was fun, it was a laugh, I got to sing and dance on stage, I was happy. During the closed or winter season I went off and worked for a magic company, selling tricks and illusions and that sort of thing, which proved to be more hard work that it was worth and also made me highly distrustful of any and all magicians!
For a while I did promotion work, freelance stuff, auditioned for a few shows, I thought I'd get a break in the business they call show, but with no formal training, in fact no training of any kind, that break never really happened, unless you count bit parts and 'extra' stuff as a break, which I didn't and don't, still it was fun while it lasted, and there is something kooky about seeing the back of your head on TV or perhaps that arm in the Rovers behind Bette is my arm and all that.
The boss at the radio station called and by some piece of good fortune, gave me a job, first in the music library, then researching, then producing, then presenting, then doing anything. It was a great experience, I learnt a lot, broadcasting is a lovely industry to be in, especially if you are a little crazy and a tad egotistical I loved all aspects of it, even doing the overnight show, it was a thrill, a job that I will always look back on fondly.
Becoming the presenter and producer of the Saturday afternoon sports was a bit of a challenge, but I think I rose to it, more than doubling the audience figures and nominated for an award!
Life was pretty good at that time, I even had a couple of stalkers, yes it's true, I had two, one serious and one not so serious. I'd get odd notes left at home for me, or put through my door just after I'd gotten in. Phone calls started soon after the notes, and some would come in the middle of the night, some would just be silent, some would detail the time I'd arrived home, what I was wearing and where I'd been that day! Yep, it was just a tad scary, probably made me a bit of a challenge to work with, always looking over my shoulder, but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, at least that's what they say.
The radio station went through some changes, not least in ownership and well, costs needed to be cut and I guess, I was one of those costs, I was cut and life took on a new curve. I went freelance after that and started writing, I had an advice/agony column in a weekly gay newspaper, I also created features and other stories for that paper along with other magazines. I produced and presented video travel brochures and the odd voice over and radio show. But, I kinda liked the freelance lifestyle rather than the actual working bit. Mind you, I had one hell of a sun tan in those days! It's amazing how, a whole section of life, perhaps two years or more worth fits into a neat little paragraph? Anyway, it does, and life moves on a pace, Ed was the man of the moment, who talked me back into full time employment.
Since then, I've done all kinds of things, including window cleaning, selling coach tickets, dancing, waiting tables, selling holidays, I've flown around the world - twice, I've been in a bike accident that broke my knee, arse and back! Fast forward a few years and I had a dancing accident which to cut a long long story one line short resulted in me having a five hour op which put a metal plate in my leg to hold the bones together!
I'm sure there is loads loads more I could tell you, share with you more intimate moments of my life, but, well, do you really wanna know? Probably not, besides, you now know all the basic info, the interesting back story, the prologue, the introduction to the life that is mine. I'm sure if you want to know anything else, you'll either find it in the normal blog posts, or you can ask me about it!
I thank you for reading this far, really, thank you, you've paid more interest in my life than even I have at times! If I was there right now, I'd go buy you a coffee.....
