Today's weather - wet, windy, cold, I think winter is here at last!
I was a good lad, when Jake said come down for one last night, I took him at his word and went down for one, which, as is always the way, turned into two, but that kinda goes without saying. I mean, I'm a gay man, and we just can not have just one pint in the pub, it's not the done thing, it's just not gay-legal!
Besides, I just had to get out of the house, I was suffering Charity over-load! The annual Children In Need was dominating the BBC schedule, and I'd had about as much as I could take. I mean, we had old Terry Wogan hosting along with flighty Fern 'Xtra Factor' Cotten, which was OK, but I think I do sigh at the constant demands for me to pick up the phone and give my hard-earned dosh to kids' charities by various celebs, who, if they gave just one day's wages, would negate the need to have such appeals in the first place.
Anyways we had John Barrowman singing, which was good. I can hardly believe he's 40, ya know, or he's been with his partner Scott for 16 years, but I'm digressing. Back to Children In Need, I'd got bored of the charityfest, OK, so I may sound tighter than a Pygmy gnats arse, but I do give time and money to charity, I just don't like being asked for it, and besides, we had Jason Donovan singing Too Many Broken Hearts and looking like a complete startled rabbit. Oh, the shame of it all, so when Jakey texted the location of the beverage-taking establishment, I slid on my slingbacks and hared down the road to the venue that was once Charles Street and is now just Messy Road!
So after a couple of pints had turned to four, it was time for Jake to do some work and me to head home, which reluctantly we did. Oh, now, I did something I don't usually do, I approached this young thing in the bar, as if I was going to chat him up, which is something I never do, because....well....I can't! Anyway, he was about 24 or so, slim, dark hair, the kinda boy who would not look out of place grinning up from the pages of a magazine, well at least that's what I thought as I was getting to the end of pint number four. Anyway, as Tom Cruise would have said in the 80's before Scientology took over rational thought, I crashed and burned!
But worse than being rejected, turned down, kicked into touch, this lad with the dazzling smile, even had the cheek to call out 'See ya later, pop's' to me as he made his exit! Pop's? Me? No, I'm only in my thirties for fuck sake? Surely pop's is reserved for men of much more advanced years? Like grandfathers, or grandpa's for example, not mere thirty-something year olds like myself. I mean, I'm still in my prime, a hot specimen of pure maleness, I'm not over the hill yet, am I?
I suppose there is that 'age' thing that surrounds the gay population, or at the very least, some of it. You know that ageist mentality that pretty much adds twenty-odd years to your age once you go past 29 for the last time. So I may be 38 in the real world, in the gay world I'm more like 58, far too old for wearing Prada Jeans, Abercrombie tops and chatting up 23-year-olds?
Talking of bright smiles, have you seen the advert for the new Colgate Total, Professional Weekly Clean toothpaste? Apparently, it's formulated with the same stuff the dentist uses to clean your teeth with something called prophy-silica or whatever. Anyway, it comes in a box and is supposed to make your mouth feel amazingly clean. So I got some, first of all, £3.29 for a tube of paste for teeth is a little on the side of expensive. Then, when I got it home, I was even more disappointed, the rather chunky box is just that, a box! There's nothing in it except this tiny tube of paste, and mark my words, the tube is tiny. The box proudly proclaims it's got 6 weeks usage, that's all, jolly good until you remember 'Weekly Clean', you only use it once a week, therefore that's 6 cleans - £3.49 for 6 cleans, what a waste of money. Still having splashed the cash on it, I used it, and to be frankly honest, it made my mouth feel fresh, but only about as fresh as popping in two pieces of Extra chewing gum! So this 'Professional Weekly Clean from Colgate Total is more like a total rip-off!
The Box makes it look good until you put a normal-sized tube next to it, and then you see the real size. But it's not until you take the tube out of the box that you see the actual size of your purchase! Is this clever or misleading packaging?
Apparently, you can forget Wii's this year as they've sold out long ago, but the next big thing on kiddies' Christmas lists this year is going to be Dan Dare! Yeah, apparently, the strange superhero of the 50's is making a comeback. He's all set to be the next big thing in kids' entertainment. Which begs the question, is everything old going to become new again?
I think I might be about to get into classical music, violin music to be more precise. Is this because as those years advance, my tastes are becoming the same as my crusty old father's, or because Joshua Bell, who's storming up the charts if a fit bit of totty? That's him on the right, make ya own mind up!
I'm still getting to grips with this cyber social interaction malarkey, I've got profiles on various different sites because friends have told me I should be online and up to date, yet I've only got 19 friends on MySpace, and I need more? But what's the etiquette about asking people to be your friend on MySpace? Is it considered bad form to just nip into someone else's friend list and then invite those other people - is that pinching your friends' friends? Will I get the Internet police after me for pilfering other people's mates? How do you get more MySpace mates without seeming like a desperate Billy-no-mates needing to be popular?
I've had an email informing me that two of my friends on Facebook have invited me to a quiz and sent me a beer - now that's nice, isn't it? Although I don't understand how I'm going to enjoy a beer on the Internet without blowing up the PC, it's still a nice thought! This whole Internet socialising trend seems to have taken over the world, once just the domain of the younger generation, is now home to middle-aged mums, dads and grandmas, indeed even the odd pop's! But as we get more and more social in cyberspace are we getting less and less social in the real world? Are our social skills becoming less about talking and more about typing?
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